


The 10th Primo

by takoyaki (tamagoyaki)



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Gen, Inspired by: The Legend of Sun Knight, Self-Indulgent, Stress-relief, comedic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23471266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamagoyaki/pseuds/takoyaki
Summary: Vongola is a bunch of nutjobs.Deciding to make every single one of their successors "the exact same as the 1st generation". What the hell's up with that?!Thanks to that, the mafia world has suffered grievously at the hands of "Angelically smiling, extremely kind-hearted" Primo's, not a single one of whom has a heart made out of gold.As the 10th generation of Primo steps up to take the mantle, the mafia world cowers in their shoes.Who knows what twisted "kindly smiling" Primo will become the Decimo this time?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

Vongola is a bunch of nutjobs.

For serious. If you don’t believe this, then just ask any mafiaso you come across! They are sure to say one thing:

That is, that the 10th generation of Vongola are out of their minds.

Or, to be more precise, it might be more accurate to say that the 1st generation of Vongola are the Kings of Crazies. It is, after all, because of their legacy that Vongola turn out to be the way it is.

What ‘Familia decisions are not enough’? What ‘personality codes are imperative’?! Who the hell invented such technology?!

(--> Talbot, for what his opinion’s worth, thinks that it is still his best work to date, thank you.)

In any case, to prevent the degeneration of their ‘philanthropic famiglia’ into one that’s well and genuinely a famiglia, the 1st generation came up with the brilliant idea for the rings:

Hey, Rings, memorize our faces, because you’re gonna stick with them for the rest of your inanimate lives! Suffer through every second of our wretched personalities, learn to live and love us for who we are. You’re now tasked to pick the next generation with the exact same personalities as us!

HA-HA-HA!

Thanks to these bastards, every generation of Vongola thereafter had to learn to have a “philanthropic” and “kindly” attitude.

Take, for instance, the legendary Secondo with his flames of wrath.

In order to succeed the cousin he’s so secretly fond of but is in denial over, he’s forced to smile “kindly”, and “gently” every time he sees his guardians, even if what he really wants to do is to strangle Daemon by the throat for instigating that rule.

It’s said that by the time the ring accepted him, Secondo all but retreated into the deep, dark abyss of his room, willingly becoming a hikkikomori to not “smile”.

(The Ring’s reasoning for not accepting him before that? His smile is twisted enough to dominate the world. Vongola Giotto’s, or to be more precise, Vongola Primo’s do not do that. His smiles are sweetly charming, tenderly endearing, though still very much capable of taking over the world.)

Want another case?

Take a look at Daniela.

Though a woman she may be, after five consecutive cases of gruff, sullen, masculine Bosses, enough to make anyone puke when they see them parading around with Vongola Giotto’s “saintly, angelic, all-mothers-want-to-pamper-when-they-see-this-son-in-law”-air, the Ring accepted her right off the bat on account of her looking “Giotto” enough.

The job specification involves “being handsome enough to charm women, beautiful enough to draw men”. Apparently, Daniela happened to be the only Vongola-blood then who fit the bill for that. Like everyone else, she still learned to smile “kindly”, becoming a fearsome “Giotto” for the sake of her _poor, piteous_ Storm Guardian, who was threatened by the tip of that ballpoint pen pointing at him, whose owner just so happened to _motherfucking shame her for her gender._

Yep. “Giotto” is a scary fella, you guys.

But the past is not the focus of our story. Our story is about the 10th Generation of 1st Generation, starting from age 10, when these poor sacrificial lambs…… Ahem. These _very unfortunate_ candidates were taken into Vongola.

……And maybe a little before that.


	2. Chapter 2

Sawada Tsunayoshi is age three when he first encounters what he will later know as the “Old and the Nasty” dyad. They’re truly nasty.

At that time, he was a poor little helpless lamb sitting at the mercy of these unhelpful old folks, wondering why the hell this old man is smiling tenderly like he’s witnessing the birth of a new-born fawn, how can he see with his eyes closed shut in his smile, and why is he so sticky and patting Tsuna all over the head.

“B-Boss?” “Nasty Stinky” who has already earned his rightful name at the time makes a rare stutter, feeling the god of destruction on the edge of his ~~not~~ peaceful life. “You can’t possibly be……”

Pay heed. Even though “Nasty Stinkies” are usually absent, they are also very protective of their family (or famiglia?). Unfortunately, “Nasty Stinkies” basic IQ is still negative at max. Therefore, usually, when they show a shred of intelligence, it will likely lead to something tragic……

“Old Nasty Stinky” “softens” the edges of his already closed, wrinkle-softened eyes. He turns an “absent-minded but effortlessly charming” smile on them, which blinds their eyes with the rays of the sun—

(--It should be noted that some facts about Primo got vastly twisted along the line of inheritance.)

“Tsunayoshi-kun is a very cute child.”

“Old Nasty Stinkies” usually speak like those bishounen in the anime Mama plays for him. Though, “Old Nasty Stinky” is “Old Nasty Stinky”, so it is a miracle and a half he retains that effect to the fullest.

(Later, Sawada Tsunayoshi shall wonder exactly which wrinkle-reducing tonic helped Vongola Nono get rid of all the smiling lines, and which alcohol helped eliminate all pain.)

“Nono, you can’t possibly be…!” “Nasty Stinky” decides to be a father for once!

“Old Nasty Stinky” continues patting him.

“This child… He looks very much like the First.” He mumbles.

A flash of understanding comes into “Nasty Stinky”s eyes. He backs down, like the not-father he is.

“ _Sigh_ … Looks like some things are just unavoidable.” “Nasty Stinky” plops onto the couch. He drags a hand over his face.

“Old Nasty Stinky” side-eyes him with faint knowingness.

“You knew it would come to this.” He accuses.

“Nasty Stinky” is troubled.

“I just thought… Given how Xanxus and the Young Masters are…” He mutters, pained.

“Yes,” “Old Nasty Stinky” sighs in “entrancing” distress. Like the Primo he should be, he forces a tired smile. “Xanxus is understandable, given his personality. But my other sons aren’t very attractive, are they?”

To put things bluntly.

Even the manly previous bosses who looked hideous when they pulled the “Giotto” Air at least looked passable by the beauty standards of their time… when they are not pulling off the “Giotto” Air. Which is to say, they look hideous most of the time except in private.

And something must have went wrong in Timoteo’s gene pool, because those ugly genes of his son certainly are not inherited from him.

Sawada Tsunayoshi blinks large and honest eyes up at the two absent-minded stares that trail over to land on his face.

“…Tunafish, why are you so cute.” “Nasty Stinky” asks in dismay.

The Nasty and the Stinky still sacrifices a lone tuna to a lion in hiding just so he can bury him in earth and regrow him as a lion.

Did that make no sense? That’s because it’s not supposed to!

How can a tuna turn into a lion?

(In the future, Vongola Nono pops a can of beer and goes wild, dancing naked in a bar Giotto wouldn’t be caught dead in, whereas Sawada Tsunayoshi stands at the altar for his generation’s inheritance with his soul flying out of his mouth, one foot in his grave already.)

**Author's Note:**

> Do kudos/comment/bookmark to indicate your interest :)  
> If you liked this story, you might like [The Legend of Sun Knight](https://www.novelupdates.com/series/the-legend-of-sun-knight/), which is what inspired it.  
> Guaranteed to fall in love within three chapters! 😉


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